Hope

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world.

Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

- Margaret Mead.

This quote has been in my head all day. The past two days, while filled with sadness about the (possible?) loss of Loretto High School, I have been amazed to see the outpouring of love and support for my school. In two short days a community has rallied together to make a difference. All kinds of groups have popped up on facebook dedicated to supporting and rallying behind our school. (I've been trying to teach the concept of exponential growth in class this week. I wish that I could explain the facebook growth to help them understand!) In two short days over 700 people have joined these groups to support the cause. Remarkable, given the population of the school itself is only about 400!

At first I wasn't sure if I had a right to be so upset. It's part of my past, who am I to be so upset when I'm not the one being affected. I'm emotional by nature, so perhaps it was an overreaction. Then I began receiving emails and facebook notes from non-Loretto friends saying how sorry they were. I took this to mean that my sense of loss was valid, and that I wasn't at all alone in my feelings.

Tonight I went to a meeting organized in order to save Loretto. Keep in mind - this all came together in about 48 hours! The meeting was held at St. Ignatius and had to be moved from a meeting room to the church in order to accommodate all the people who came out. People wanted information, and I think we all wanted hope. Well, hope is what we got. Though the meeting was short and sweet (and to be honest, not all that informative), the sheer volume of people in attendance and the rousing applause at each pause was hope enough. The high point of the meeting, which resulted in a standing ovation, was when a statement from Bishop Soto was read indicating that he supports this fight. A steering committee is being formed to develop a plan to save Loretto. It's certainly not going to be easy - we may simply not have enough time - but hope was alive and is alive and there are many who are pushing forward with this fight. As a self proclaimed cynic who sometimes wonders what's left to believe in, this renewed something in me.

Some of the girls I used to teach were at the meeting and it was nice to see them. I spoke to a group who are currently sophomores. I asked them the question of what if? What if Loretto is granted a year to kind of stir things up and work towards something, anything that can keep the school alive. I said to them- are you in it for the long haul? Would you stay, knowing this may happen again? Absolutely, they said. It gave me goosebumps. The other main thing I said to the girls was, despite how much this whole situation sucks - the outpouring of love and support... that's pretty freakin' awesome! They knew that they were a part of something special!

When the speakers first began, they said that the thing about Loretto, and the reason we are all ready to fight for it, is the feeling we had when we first walked on the campus. I really couldn't agree more. I really couldn't have said it better myself!

And now I'll close with the prayer said at the beginning of the meeting - how appropriate it was for the "small" group of thoughtful, committed people who will reach out and try to keep something that means so much to so many -

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Broken Hearted

Today word spread like a fire that Loretto High School will close upon the end of this school year. When word reached me, I thought it was somehow a misunderstanding. Even after seeing for myself on the website, I still couldn't quite believe that this was true. I am devastated. I'm not really sure why since I left there 13 years ago, but I've been just walking around all day in a state of sadness and disbelief. There's been a lot of change and loss in my life in the past 2 years, losing my last 2 grandparents, selling my childhood home, etc., and this can just be added on to it. It truly is a loss.

I just spent about an hour reading on sacbee.com about what people have to say about my beloved school. Most people echoed how I feel, but some people feel the need to make themselves heard with no real knowledge about what they speak. So because I do not want to register on sacbee, I'm putting my thoughts here. For those who read and know this, sorry... it's time for me to reflect.

I was supposed to go to St. Francis. From the time I had an understanding of what high school was, I was going to go to SF. That's just the way it was. That was also when I would finally have gotten to go to school with my friend/godsister Katie. What was this Loretto place I had heard of? In 8th grade, my parents encouraged me to look at Loretto as another option. They didn't care which I chose, but it was going to be SF. That's just the way it was going to be. But I went to shadow day and I went to Open House, and I started to think that Loretto seemed ok. Then I went to SF shadow day and didn't love it like I was "supposed to." So I went back to SF on a regular school day, just to be sure. It was the night before the entrance exam. I can vividly remember sitting on my bed, crying, as I called my friends Valerie and Shannon and told them, "I'm not going to school with you." Despite all the years of prep, I chose Loretto.

Why did I choose Loretto over SF? Because it felt right. When I visited Loretto, they made me feel that I mattered and that they wanted me there. SF made me feel like I would be welcome if I chose it, but they didn't really care. Loretto wanted me, and I wanted Loretto.

Thirteen years have passed since my graduation. I look back at Loretto as some of the best days of my life. I am one of the exception who LOVED high school. Most people look back at that time and cringe. Not me. Every day at Loretto I knew I could be whomever I chose to be. The only limitations were those that were imposed by myself. I could carve my own path, free from obstacles. Quite simply, I could shine. This isn't to say that I wouldn't have done well elsewhere. I know I would have. Had I gone to SF, I would have probably been happy and no doubt I would have gotten a stellar education. But I fear I would have been lost in the crowd. As someone who was good at a lot but exceptional at not much, I'm not sure I would have ever found my footing as well as I did at Loretto.

Loretto is/was such a special place. I just was telling my friend that I think there are a lot of people who enjoy high school and everyone has their own great memories. But the absolute LOVE that a lot of people like me have for my actual high school, I think is something unique and special.

What makes me saddest today is when I think of some of the special girls I have taught in my current job who are juniors at Loretto. To come this far and know that your life will be sent into turmoil at this most important moment absolutely breaks my heart. To know that in a year and a half they will graduate with a group of people who will mostly be strangers and that they will not walk down that aisle in a gorgeous white gown and pick one rose from their dozen to hand to their parents.... this kills me. I have no doubt that these girls will succeed wherever they end up. Of course they will, and so will the sophs. and frosh behind them. That's not the point. The point is in the loss they feel today, the loss of a beautiful and unique experience.

I never had the chance to be in a sorority in college, nor have I ever known what it is like to have a sister (though some of my friends come close). My sorority, my sisterhood, will close its doors in June.

So Cool

It's Book Fair week at school and this is one of the books that I was excited to see. I had seen it in a catalog and was waiting to buy it. I have developed a big interest in this particular series of alphabet books. I have about 9 or 10 of them. I love the artwork, the creativity, and also how well researched the books are. Well, in this new one, imagine my excitement when I opened to the title page and saw a picture of BC's own Doug Flutie! Of all the sports figures throughout history, Flutie was picked for the "Q" page. Brag Herzog's text reads, "Q is for Quarterback - a little guy, Doug Flutie, whose game-winning Hail Mary pass was such a thing of beauty." Then there is a sidebar with info about Flutie and the famous "Hail Mary" pass. So fun!

Note to Self

Dear Self,
When going to a conference, perhaps looking at the flyer would be a good idea to confirm where it is taking place. Do not assume (because you know what they say about that...) that it will take place in the same location as the previous year. I am just telling you... you should check these things out before having mom drop you off.

Let's try not to make the same mistake twice, got it?
From,
self

(ya- I get the stupid person of the day award... what can I say. Fortunately (since my mom had my car and everything) I only had to walk 2 blocks to the correct location. My friend Dawn was the savior of the day since she had to go into my classroom to look at the flyer - which THANK GOD was still on my desk - and then look on the internet for the intersection of the correct location. Ya... I'm a winner alright... Thanks Dawn - you're the best!)

This Entry is Written in Invisible Ink

I need to get some things off my chest, but some of them are things that I probably shouldn't say publicly. So I've written this entry in invisible ink.























There... that feels better.

At Least I'm Rooting For Them

So here's the thing. I'm taking sort of a wait and see approach with the new guy. I was over the hype by, oh about October, but still. My daddy raised me to be a good little Republican, but let's face it - I know nothing about politics. While watching the swearing in, I was bummed when the internet feed went out because more than anything, I wanted to see these two. I wanted to see them look at their dad with pride, and of course, I wanted to see what they were wearing :-)

More than anything in this new transition, I feel for those two little ones. I hope that they will have a good life in the spotlight. The Obamas seem like a very strong family unit, and I'm glad for that. I know the little girls will be protected. None of us can imagine how hard that must be to live in that kind of fishbowl - no matter how much security is around them. They will never have a chance at "normal." But I hope that they are happy. I hope they will always have true friends.I hope they will always have their mom and dad to tuck them in at night. I hope they will be able to be kids.

Well, I just deleted the rest of what I wrote because I don't want to be misunderstood. I have 2 major beefs with yesterday, but I'll be a good girl and keep them to myself. So while the rest of the country basks in the glow of boundless hope, I'll just sit here and baby-step my way into extremely cautious optimism. I hope that our new President will do what he has promised and will fix things and make people's lives easier.

I have a real hard time being too optimistic, however, when one of his first major decisions was Hilary Clinton.

Sydney Bristow Was Totally a Gallagher Girl

My reading challenge is off to a slow start. I will fill you in at the end of the month (hoping to squeeze a few more in so as not to look too pathetic), but I want to tell you about 2 of the fabulous ones I read.




I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You and Cross My Heart and Hope to Spy are the first two books in the Gallagher Girl series by Ally Carter.




Simply put.. Loved them!





One of the book fair reps that I'm working with recommended these books to me as I was looking for more books for my 6-8th grade girls to read. I'm sure I had seen them and never picked them up. I'm so glad she pointed them out to me. And even more exciting, I just got a copy of each donated to the school library and the girls are really excited about them. I am really into reading the young adult literature these days. There is so much good stuff out there for the tween-teen set.

These stories are about a private school for girls that is actually a spy school. Having been a huge "Alias" fan, I got right into them. I don't want to say too much about them because I want people to read them. If you want to learn more about the author, click here or here.

When You Say Nothing At All...

For some reason, that song has been going through my mind the last few days. Do you know it? It was my friends Darien and Mike's wedding song and I always associate it with the movie "Notting Hill" (one of my faves, btw). Anyway, I haven't really had anything to say the past few days, so I'm trying to say it best by saying nothing at all.

I just thought I would check in to say that I'm still alive. I am currently checking in, while watching the Ravens/Pitt game (I really want the Ravens for some unknown reason), avoiding vacuuming and laundry and all the Book Fair crap that needs to be done. I could tell you about how my reading challenge is so not off to a good start. I could tell you about my annoying trip to Toyota, but seriously not worth it. I could tell you about working today and having to hang up shorts - shorts!, but that's not all that interesting. I could tell you my thoughts on the inauguration and all the balls and how it's a waste of money, but then I would offend people (although I did see that some go for charity, so props for that... maybe I won't be so down on them after all). I could tell you my thoughts about the plane landing in the Hudson, but really, what's to say? Amazing! I could tell you that "Rat Race" was on this morning and I think that movie is probably the stupidest ever, but it cracks me up. So those are the things I could tell you. But I won't. I'll say it all better by saying nothing...

From the "I'm a Dork" Files

After reading a lot of people's blogs about their plans for self betterment (is that a word? Well, it is now), I decided that though I will not make resolutions, I am going to make a challenge for myself to read 100 books this year. Now, considering the last time I tried to challenge myself, I only read 8 in a month of focused reading. At that rate, I'd still be 4 short. And I'm not off to a very good start. I'm still stuck in Forks (setting of the "Twilight" series, for those not in the know). I'm sorry. I just can't get through the third one. Reading time has been shorted, but I'm also about ready to kill Bella Swan. I find her to be more than slightly annoying. Anyway. So I'm off to a very slow start. I will pick up speed by throwing in some kids' books, which is totally valid as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, I don't think anyone I know has enough time to even consider reading that much (well, except Lisa who is a super speed reader. Except with my fave book which I found on her toilet, btw. BOO), what with children, lives, and all, but if anyone out there in cyberland wants to join me, go for it. Once a month I'll post my titles and progress. I know, hold back the excitement.

2 Things...

... that have been bothering me this week (plus one OMG from today).

I feel for the Travolta family. There are no words. However, is anyone else sick of hearing "John Travolta's son?" Please, what about "the son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston." Pretty sure John didn't carry him for 9 mos. Either refer to him by name or use both parents' names. And for those who will say, but no one knows who Kelly Preston is. A- doesn't matter, and B - of course they do, are you kidding?

One of my all time most favorite movies is "Sleepless in Seattle." Absolutely love, love, love it, and can pretty much recite it word for word. (Sidebar - my favorite quote in the whole thing goes pretty much as follows:
Jonah: This one sounds good
Sam: Ya well it's from Oklahoma. Do you even know where Oklahoma is?
Jonah: Somewhere in the middle?
Sam: I'm not even going to think about what they are not teaching you in school, I'm not even going to think about it.
Often, "somewhere in the middle" is a snarky response I give as a shout out to the movie. Sidebar over)
Anywho - I caught it on tv this weekend and even though I've seen it probably at least 100 times (or more), it bugged me the other night that:
A - Why didn't Sam call the airline and have them hold Jonah at the NY airport upon arrival?
B - If not A., why did he not call security at the Empire State Building and have them get Jonah from the observation deck and keep him safe.
I know... it's a movie. But for the first time, this totally bugged me.

And from today's files. Did anyone else catch Ann Coulter on the Today Show. She was like the freakin conductor of the crazy train. Find it if you can. C.R.A.Z.Y.

Travels with Tamara: Part 2 - SF and Napa

A day in Napa

On Sunday and Monday Tamara and I visited San Francisco and Napa. Seven years ago we had been to SF together, and I had never been to Napa, so it seemed like the thing to do. We had such a good time. Not really knowing what to do or where to go, we ended up taking a tour that took us to 4 different wineries, then on a ferry back to the city. It was awesome. I had picked out a ton of pics, but there were too many. Here are pics of me and T at the 4 wineries, and above there's a link to a web album so you can see the rest of our adventure. And by the rest, I mean a few highlights!

Travels with Tamara: Part 1 - Tahoe

On Christmas Night I received my very best Christmas gift. My old roommate and one of my besties came to visit from NY. We had the BEST time together. Almost 7 years ago, when I was still living in Boston, T and I came out for a week and went all over the state. This time we had less time and some new places we had yet to explore together. First up, Tahoe. After spending ALL day Friday sitting around in our pjs and chatting, Saturday was time for our first adventure. We met my mom (who has never needed an excuse to go to Tahoe, and I didn't want to drive!) and we went up to South Shore.

We practically were not even out of the car before T and my mom were ready to start gambling!

We went for cocktails and lunch at Fire and Ice. Randomly, this is a Boston joint with one western outpost. The first time I ever went was with T and her old boyfriend John, so it made sense to head there.

At Fire and Ice you get to fill a bowl with your veggies (and meats, if you are so inclined) and then choose a stir fry sauce. They cook it on a big grill in the middle. Here, Tamara waits for her food.

Dessert - Make your own S'mores. YUMMY!

After lunch, Tamara and I went on the cable car at Heavenly up to the top of the mountain. It was crazy beautiful up there. Here are some pics on the way up, and at the top. I think Tamara was impressed with our beautiful lake. But of course now she has to come see it in the summer too!

I'm not a gambler, but I was bored so I stuck my mom's $5 in the UFO machine. I won $17.50 twice. Of course, I followed my mom's method which is to keep playing till it's gone. Oh well. Wasn't my money anyway!

Bafflement

I'm baffled. Seriously baffled. Today I went to Target to pick up a few things. It was pretty crowded, but when I went to check out it didn't seem so bad. And that was when I was baffled. I got in line and there was one young guy in slippers (huh?) in front of me and then a woman in front of him who was checking out. The guy had put his stuff on the belt before I got there. What I saw was about 10 things of frozen juice, then a red separator, then some body wash and candles (date night for the teen set?). So after the first woman leaves, the girl starts ringing up all the juice. Most of them wouldn't scan because of the frost. This was the first piece of bafflement - can't you just ring one and then hit some button to count the others? There were only 3 varieties and about 3 or 4 of each one. Each time she tried scanning over the normal flat scanner and then when it didn't work, took the gun to scan it. I just stood there shaking my head. I think she was crushing on the guy because she was all about talking to him. Well then he said something about the other products on the belt. She scans those and puts them in the bag and says the total is &35 and change. He goes, "$35? What? That's not all my stuff, just the last 2." Um... HELLO???? Who the hell do you think she was ringing those up for? Did you see anyone in front of you? Do you think maybe you might have mentioned those weren't yours around juice can #1? Or at least when she rang your items up? Did this never occur to you? Have you smoked a little too much of the pot to be able to think straight? WTF??? Then, to just send me over the top, she put all the juice in the "go-back" bin. Did she not realize that they were FROZEN??? And perhaps she might have called someone to put them back? Oy. Vey.

The Year That Was

Even though I already reflected on my year, Kelly did this on her blog so I wanted to do it on mine :-) Thanks for being a blog-stalker Kelly!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Went to the Super Bowl, went to new places in Europe I'd never been.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? negative on both counts

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? My friend Tiffany had baby Miley, Vicki had baby Madelyn, one of my old roommates, Stacey, had baby Andrew, Kelly's sister Erin had baby Mateo. I hope I didn't miss anyone! 2007 was a big baby year, and I know of at least 2 coming in 2009.

4. Did anyone close to you die? my grandma

5. What countries did you visit? Italy, Turkey, Greece, Croatia, Malta, Mexico

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? a boyfriend :-)

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Feb. 16 - my grandma died, Feb. 14 - my mom fell which caused her to have brain surgery, Feb. 2nd or 3rd - the Pats lost their bid for the perfect season. July- went on my dream vacation

8.What was your biggest achievement of the year? hmm... I dunno

9. What was your biggest failure? other than all my N.Y. resolutions, can't think

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? well my back spazzed out while in Cabo to the point I could barely walk for 3 days, then I had a cyst on my back that basically exploded and had to be removed.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Roxy the camera

12. Where did most of your money go? bills and probably the Loft

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my camera, my trip to Europe, my trips to the Super Bowl and Boston too

14. What song will always remind you of 2008? Probably that one on the Sears commercials. Also "Over It" by Katherine McPhee and maybe "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts. I don't really know new songs because I pretty much only listen to my IPod.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? probably the same, but the holidays always depress me a little
b) thinner or fatter? probably a little fatter, but close to the same
c) richer or poorer? aren't we all a little poorer? As my dad has to remind me re: stocks - I'm in it for the long haul

16. What do you wish you’d done more of? working out and time with friends

17. What do you wish you’d done less of? I don't know

18. How did you spend Christmas? Christmas Eve -drinking Martinis at Paul Martin's, then going to the movies, then quiet Christmas at my mom's while killing time waiting for Tamara to arrive

19.Did you fall in love in 2008? for about a day with the cute BC coach I met in Greece. I thought fate had finally come to help me out. Apparently, not so much

20. What was your favorite TV program? For this year I loved "Gossip Girl" and "Privileged"

21.. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? one of the managers at the store. She's gone now though, so woo hoo!

22.. What was the best book you read? I read so much it's hard to pick. Here are a few I think I read this year - "The Ridiculous Race," "One Year Off," "Love Walked In," "Seeing me Naked," "Oh.My.Gods.," "The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks," Holly Would Dream," "Playing for Pizza"

23.. What did you want and get? my trip to Santorini and my camera

24. What did you want and not get? to fall in love. And a Wii.

25. What was your favorite film of this year? I loved "4 Christmases" and also "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2"

26.. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? On my actual (30th) birthday I went to Cheesecake with Lisa and Iz and then Chevy's with mom and Brett gave me a whole canister of watermelon puree (YUM). But I also celebrated with a BBQ with most of my friends the weekend before, and on my cruise with mom the weeks before.

27. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I didn't constantly feel so lonely

28.What kept you sane? my friends, sleep

29. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Duh- Tom Brady. Matt Ryan is a close second, but he's a little young

30. What political issue stirred you the most? I think everyone was stirred at least somewhat by the election. For some it turned out ok, and others not. I'm interested to see what happens with the dems back in the White House.

31. Who did you miss? my grandma and my east coast friends

32. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. Sometimes adventure finds you when you stop looking. If you want something done you usually have to do it yourself.

33. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. (I don't know if it sums up my year, but I guess it sums up my hopes, or rather, my wish ;-) )

Artist/Band: Rascal Flatts Lyrics for Song: My Wish

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

(refrain again)

One Year Later...

One year ago today I decided to start this here little blog. So yay to me for that. Since 'tis the season for those dreaded new year's resolutions, I looked back to what I wrote last year. Two words for y'all - Epic. Failure! But while I may have failed on all but one of those resolutions (#6 - I did raise quite a lot for the MS Society again. Granted, the mayor didn't really earn anything, so it wasn't much of a challenge, but still...), my year was anything but failure. There were highs and lows of course, but it was packed with adventure. So since last year's resolutions didn't get me anywhere, I'm sticking to a "why bother" philosophy for this year. I mean, I still need to catch up on scrapbooking, still need to get a life, still need to meet a cute boy, still need to go to the gym now and then, and still need to work at being in better touch with my friends. But these aren't really things that should be resolutions, these are things that should just be a part of my life. I'll continue to work on it. Though, I still need everyone's help with the meeting a cute boy part... c'mon - you have to have friends, brothers, co-workers, cousins, no?

I wanted to spend my 30th year having 30 great adventures. What I realized is that as much as I wanted to plan things out, adventures sometimes happen without planning or without realizing that they truly are an adventure. I'm not sure if I had 30 or not, but that's ok. Some of my most fun adventures-

• Driving to Arizona for the Super Bowl with my dad
• Going to a children's lit workshop in January that made me think about a job change
• Speaking at a high school career day
• Seeing Billy Joel in concert
• Seeing the Red Sox play in LA, OC, and Oakland
• Going to a Giants game on a blind date
• Driving to SF on a school night to meet my favorite author - Jenn Lancaster
• Raising money for the MS Walk and participating in the Race for the Cure
• Going on literally my dream vacation
• Spending time at Stanford games throughout the fall
• Seeing the Pats in San Diego and San Francisco
• Going to Boston for Notre Dame weekend
• Thanksgiving in Cabo
• Having one of my besties come visit and hanging out in Tahoe, SF, and Napa all in 3 days

And some of the lowlights,

• Losing my beloved grandma
• Mom having to have emergency brain surgery and finding out she was within hours of possible death (yikes!!!)
• Pats losing the Superbowl, then losing Tom Brady, then missing the play-offs, despite being 11-5
• Having my hours cut at work
• Entering one more year alone and with no prospects!

So as you can see, despite the couple of low things that happened, I really can't complain too much about the year in review. I'm sure that 2009 won't be filled with quite as much adventure, but hopefully when I look back a year from now, I will feel just as good about what I've done.

Cheers to all in 2009!